and this,
by DramaDelicacy
Summary: this is how it ends. sequel to (because life sucks,). sakura-centric.
1. Chapter 1

/ **prologue**

Letters.

They were the only thing connecting Haruno Sakura to her hometown, Konoha. After she left the village, she had expected visitors from her hometown – because they promised they'd visit (Ino, Kakashi-_sensei_, Shizune, and Tsunade-_sama_). But no one came. Only papers consisting of _how are you_'s and _we miss you_'s came. Ino and Tsunade sent letters every Tuesdays and Thursdays while Kakashi would send her letters on Mondays.

The first few weeks, she wondered if they would ever visit. But after three months passed by, she stopped wondering and started ignoring the fact that no one came to visit (even when they said they would) hurt her. She kept herself busy for the Kazekage and for the Sand village. Heat strokes were common there, so most of the time she had to be on duty at the hospital. The village valued her greatly, as Kakashi once told her – "you're an asset, Sakura, every village out there wish they have someone with your expertise." Sakura took great pride in this statement, as it had been proven true.

Years ago, she was a girl with no ambition and no other dreams other than to be "Sasuke-kun's bride." Now she was a woman looking to be the best in her field, and even though they told her she was, she wanted to make sure she could do her job properly. Not only in the field of medicine, she also wanted to make sure she could be a _kunoichi_ strong enough she could handle ANBU level jobs. And they told her she could, and she could easily be ANBU if she wanted to. But all her life she had two huge shadows overwhelming her and no one could ever tell her she was strong enough because she knew those two boys will always be ten steps ahead of her.

And she aspired to be someone who could walk next to them, or maybe even, if she were allowed to dream bigger, surpass them.

So she worked and trained, and wrote letters back to those who promised. She adapted to the climate in Suna, and she started to get used to the fact that Ichiraku did not exist there. She worked, and trained, and wrote letters, and she adapted. These were the necessary part of a routine for her to not break apart. Because six months later, she received a letter from Kakashi that sent her plunging into a darkness she thought was impossible to exist:

_Naruto's engaged._

That was it. The only words written on paper. Sakura read the words twice, thrice, and the fourth time she read them, she wasn't surprised to find tears flowing down her cheeks.

(_Because now he could never be yours and you thought you could run away from the fact that he's going to be happy without you._)

Sakura wanted to be the best medic, surpassing all the other medics, and she wanted to be a _kunoichi _strong enough she could walk next to her two boys with her chin in the air. But, if she was permitted, she also wanted to be someone who could give Naruto happiness, because he gave her so much and she (_it's too late now_) loved him.

_I'm sorry._

Was what Kakashi wrote on the back of the paper, and she walked outside to her balcony to burn the letter. (_This won't change anything._)

(_You knew when you left that nothing could change the fact that the world will keep on spinning – you were supposed to accept the fact that Naruto will be happy with Hinata and not you because you were supposed to be in love with Sasuke and not Naruto, never Naruto._)

But it was Naruto who she came to fall in love with, properly this time too, not because of some shallow reason. But it was too late and he never believed her when she told him "I love you." And even though she left the village with her head held up high, believing her words when she told herself: "I'll be okay because he's happy." Because apparently that was what you were supposed to do when someone you loved fell in love with another; you were supposed to be happy for them because their happiness would be yours. (_Bullshit_.)

(_You're an idiot and now you're paying for it_.)

The next time Gaara informed her he would be travelling to Konoha, and offered "would you like to come?" she shook her head and said "no, I have a lot to do here, I will be too busy and I can't neglect my responsibilities," and he looked at her solemnly because that was always her excuse every time he offered but he said nothing because it wasn't his place to ask "why do you not want to visit the place you love so much?" because he caught her crying when she received letters from Konoha and he knew how much she missed _home_. But she refused every time and after some time he understood why.

"Tell Naruto congratulations, though," she smiled as she worked her way through the paperwork. "I'm very happy for him."

Gaara didn't miss the fact that her voice shook ever so slightly at "I'm very happy for him", or the fact that her eyes were swollen and her nose red and there were still traces of tears on her cheeks. So he only nodded and said "I will, good luck with your work," and left her office.

As he made his journey to Konoha, he wondered why happy endings were unfair, and why love was so painful. He ignored the fact that his throat closed up at the thought of Sakura crying through the night after receiving the news. But he will smile for Naruto because he deserved to be happy and;

"Kankurou, life is unfair, isn't it?"

"Aa," Kankurou nodded, because he knew why Gaara suddenly brought this topic up. "It sucks."

"We can only endure, huh?"

"Yeah, we can only endure."

Because that was what Sakura said when she gave them her transfer request, and when she informed them she'd be staying indefinitely even though the medical exchange program was temporary.

"Are you sure about this?" Gaara had asked back then. "Won't your friends worry?"

"Don't worry about it," she smiled. "They know."

"I don't think I quite understand, Sakura-_san_," he frowned. "Why are you doing this?"

"Let's just say," Sakura pondered. "Because life sucks, and all we can do is endure."

He was confused then, but now he understood. So he tried his best not to think of a crying Sakura in Suna, and readied himself to congratulate Naruto:

_Because you deserve to be happy, Naruto. After everything, you deserve to be happy._

* * *

><p><strong>an**

**people have been asking for a sequel to my one-shot **_**because life sucks,**_** and i decided to just go ahead and make the sequel. i'm really, REALLY, unhappy at how naruto ends so i'll pour everything into this fanfiction. it will be narusaku, but it might not end narusaku – we'll see. i already kind of have the ending in place, but we'll see how this goes.**

**reviews are appreciated,**

**DD.**


	2. Chapter 2

/ **chapter one**

It was two weeks later when Gaara came home from Konoha. He went straight to Sakura's office because this was the routine every time he came back from her hometown. He liked to tell her stories of what new things were in Konoha, what new shops opened, how her friends were like, and he usually brought home with him a bowl of Ichiraku ramen. Gaara tried his best to make Sakura happy, because even after all these years he still felt guilty over what he did to her at the Chuunin Exam. But beyond that, Sakura was now a friend of his and he wanted her to be as happy and comfortable as she could during her stay in Suna.

He knocked on her office door and heard her call out "come in." He was glad to see her happy face when he walked in.

"Gaara!" she smiled. The stress from all the work she had looked like it just flew out the window at the sight of him. "Welcome home!"

"Thanks," he smiled. He walked up to her table and moved some of the thick folders aside to make room for the ramen.

"Ichiraku!" she grinned and he could hear her stomach growl a second later. She looked at him, cheeks heating up from embarrassment. "I didn't have time for breakfast."

"Or lunch and dinner either, apparently," he rolled his eyes. "It's almost midnight, Sakura."

"Yeah well," she grabbed the bowl and set it in front of her. "_You're_ home late."

"Yeah, we were held back due to some…" he paused," arrangements."

"Ah," Sakura nodded, understanding clear in her voice. _Naruto_. "I see."

An uncomfortable silence lingered for a few moments before Sakura grabbed the chopsticks and split them in two.

"Well," she grinned. "I'm starving and Ichiraku's always a great way to start off the day!"

"Another all-nighter?" he looked at her, concerned.

"Yeah, got no choice, it's flu season and a lot of people got sick the past week," she sighed. "I have to file all these reports and let the nurses know who's good to go and who still need to do another check-up by tomorrow afternoon."

"Well," he smiled at her. "Glad I had the ramen heated up then."

"Thanks, Gaara," she smiled. "You're the best."

They continued chatting while she ate. Gaara talked about Kakashi and how great of a Hokage he was. Apparently, he'd been working on modernizing Konoha, one step at a time. He talked about Sasuke and how, unfortunately, he broke up with his girlfriend Himawari.

"But he looks like he's doing well," Gaara said. "He's more at peace now, at least that's evident."

Sakura nodded and smiled and said "I'm glad. It's about time, too." Because even though Team 7 could not return to how it was before, she was still glad Sasuke's doing well. Even after everything, he was still someone who meant a lot to her before.

"Sometimes I wish Team 7 could have this touching reunion I dreamed about so many years ago," Sakura said, sighing. "But things got too complicated, and all of us grew up differently. Some wounds are permanent, and this is one of them."

"Yeah," Gaara nodded solemnly. "Some changes are just inevitable."

Another uncomfortable silence enveloped the two of them (both in their own thoughts) and it was some time before they heard a knock on the door. Kankurou walked in after Sakura's "come in" and told Gaara he had to file some reports about the diplomatic meeting before he could turn in for the night.

"It's late, so you might want to do it now," Kankurou said. Gaara nodded and turned to Sakura, giving her a smile and a "good luck with your work, I'll see you tomorrow" before leaving her office.

"Do you want some company?" Kankurou asked. Sakura looked at her office for a while before nodding.

"Sure, you can help me put away these files," she grinned. "_Correctly_, this time, please."

"Sakura that was one time!" he complained as he picked up the files to her left. _Files to the left means finished, files to the front, right, back and the sofa means in progress_, he thought to himself.

"Yeah, that one time got me working overtime," she rolled her eyes. "Six hours overtime!"

"It's the thought that counts, right," he winced slightly.

She laughed and nodded: "Yeah, I guess so."

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Kankurou finished filing away her files but she still had a dozen piles of paperwork left to do. He sighed, gave her a pat on the shoulder, and asked if she wanted coffee; to which she nodded tiredly. He smiled, gave her another pat, and left the office to grab a huge mug of coffee for her because he knew how desperately she needed it.<p>

He bumped into Gaara (who just finished his work) on the way back, and they looked at each other; guilt evident in their eyes.

"You didn't tell her?" Kankurou asked.

"No, did you?"

"No," he sighed. "She's going to kill us."

"No, she's going to run away again," Gaara rubbed his temples to suppress the headache.

"Did you prepare them?"

"What? Missions involving her not having to be in the village?" Gaara said, to which Kankurou nodded. "Yeah, I did."

"She can't run away forever,"

"No, she can't," Gaara said, he looked at the mug in Kankurou's hand. "She's going to need more than coffee for when they see each other."

"What are we going to do?" Kankurou looked down at the steaming hot coffee, then back at Gaara.

"There's nothing to do," Gaara said. "This is not exactly our problem and we should not meddle."

"But she's our friend," Kankurou clenched his teeth together in rage, his grip around the mug's handle tightened.

"So is he," Gaara narrowed his eyes. "Don't do anything stupid. Let them deal with this. She can't run away forever, and he has to know the truth about how she feels."

"This is going to destroy everything,"

"They deserve to have some sort of closure, at least," Gaara said. He gave Kankurou a pat on the back before walking away. "I'm going home. See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Kankurou smiled at his little brother. "You grow up too fast, Gaara." He whispered to himself, pride evident in his voice.

After giving Sakura her coffee, he bid her goodbye because the time was 3AM and he had a lot to do in the morning. She smiled at him, said thank you, and went back to working on her paperwork. He gave her one last look because he knew how distressed she was going to be soon, very soon, _too soon_. But Gaara was right; there was nothing they can do. This was not their problem and all they could do was watch and give support – to both sides.

* * *

><p>In the morning, after Sakura finished her paperwork and filed them away accordingly – as well as preparing the ones she needed to give to the nurses, she left the hospital. It was 7AM and there were only a few people up and about, some civilians were opening stores while others were <em>shinobis<em> on a mission. She didn't expect the day to turn sour so fast because when she stopped at a store for breakfast to bring home, she saw the one person she didn't think she'd see again in a long, long time. He looked up from his breakfast of ramen, and paused his conversation with the woman sitting in front of him. Shock was the first thing she saw in his face, but joy was next, and he ran up to her to give her a hug.

"Sakura!" Naruto grinned happily. She saw his arms about to pull her into a hug and without realizing it, she'd avoided his gesture and he ended up hugging empty air. "Wh—"

"What are you doing here?" she asked. Fear, confusion and despair were the dominant emotions she felt and she could feel her nails digging into her palms from the tension. She looked over at Hinata sitting on the table, waving and smiling at her. She didn't miss the gold shining on her left ring finger.

"Visiting Gaara, and you!" he smiled, then his smile turned to a frown. "You told me you were not leaving."

"Did I?" Sakura forced a smile. She turned to the vendor who already prepared her breakfast, _thank god for the routine and for being a regular here_. "I have to pay."

"Here's your regular, _and_ I added a few extra things in there, enough for lunch too maybe," the vendor smiled. "You always work too hard, Sakura-_san_."

"Thanks, Aki-_san_," Sakura smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you leaving?" Hinata asked as Sakura turned and walked towards the exit without looking back.

"Ah, yeah," she said, pretending to look apologetic. "I have an afternoon shift and I just pulled an all-nighter. Maybe next time I can stay and chat."

Hinata nodded, gave Sakura a quick hug (in which she tried her best to not cringe away from) and went back to her seat. Sakura looked at Naruto who was standing by the exit, waiting for her.

(_Why is this happening? What did I do wrong to deserve this?_) (_Because you thought you could run forever when you know reality will always catch up, sooner or later._)

"Bye, Naruto," she waved at him, only looking at him for a split second before walking out of the store. But he was too fast and he grabbed her by the arm and stopped her.

It took everything in her to not cry from his touch because (_it's Naruto and this is his warmth_). She looked at him, pretending to be confused and he looked _furious_.

"You said you were not leaving," he said, teeth clenched and his grip on her tightened.

"I lied," she said, her voice devoid of emotions. Because otherwise all he'd hear would be her trying not to cry. "I'm sorry I lied but I'm tired and I really need to not only have 3 hours of sleep."

"Sakura," and at this she shook away his hand from her and smiled. (_That's right. Fake it. You're good at it now, fake your smile and don't let him see how much you're hurting_.)

"Congratulations on your engagement, Naruto," she said. "I'm very happy for you."

And she disappeared before he could stop her because she was tired of pretending to be happy for him, tired of pretending like seeing both him and Hinata _together_ didn't hurt, and tired of pretending that she didn't realize it when he called her Sakura and not _Sakura-chan_.

(_Those days are over. And now you're _just_ Sakura, and she's now his everything while you're just a stranger from his past. The world will keep on spinning. Keep up._)

Because Sakura realized she was the only one living in the past and she thought running away from everything and everyone who was moving too fast for her would help. But it didn't and now reality's caught up and nothing could stop her from falling into a pit of unfathomable darkness.

Her breakfast stayed untouched and the sound of her crying was the only thing echoing in her dark room that morning. (_Cry now, then maybe later you'll run out tears and you can pretend that you're not hurting and that everything's okay when you see the two of them._) So she did, and before she realized it she'd fallen asleep with tears still streaming down her face.

* * *

><p><strong>an**

**ya this is depressing, sorry. i'm struggling so hard as to how i should end this cause i don't want to have naruto cheat on hinata with sakura but i'll have to see how i handle the situation for when naruto realized sakura really did love him. egh. writing this fic is quickly turning depressing fml.**

**reviews are appreciated,**

**DD.**


	3. Chapter 3

/ **chapter two**

Sakura was numb. When she woke up to the sound of her alarm a few short hours later, she wasn't surprised to find her eyes swollen and her nose blocked. She turned to her clock; _11AM._ She was annoyed (because she didn't have enough sleep, _at all_) but more than that she was _still_ hurting. She wished she didn't have work so she could just spend the rest of the day recovering from the surprise of Naruto and Hinata being in the same space as her, _again_.

She walked lazily (mostly unwillingly) to the bathroom to get ready. She looked at herself in the small mirror and sighed. _I look like shit. _(_Of course you do, you cried for two hours._) She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and stepped into the shower. When she was finished, she scrutinized her face in the mirror as she dried her hair. _At least I don't look like death anymore. Might have to put on some concealer to cover the puffiness though_. And so she did. She grabbed the concealer and covered signs of crying around her eyes. She sighed again and stared at her reflection for a long, long time.

"Here we go," she said, and she smiled. (_Fakefakefake_.) "Okay, good to go."

She turned to her breakfast, cold and forgotten on the dining table, and grabbed it. _I guess I have lunch and dinner now._

And with that, she was ready. With one last sigh, she collected herself and opened the door. The sun embraced her with its warmth and for a split second she felt alive again. Then, she heard Naruto and Hinata walking past her apartment. She looked at them with eyes as cold and dead as a winter's night. The sun suddenly felt like it was mocking her, the radiating warmth on her skin burned and she couldn't help but scream murder at the world. (_You're crazy. You promised you'd be happy for him. You promised._)

And promised she did but she realized, all too late, that it was easier to keep that promise when she was nowhere near them. (_You know you'll need to overcome this, sooner or later. You can't run forever._)

_Watch me._ Because reality was too painful and she'd rather run forever than face it. (_You're the only one who remembers when you were his support and his sun and he was yours. But he's not yours anymore. So you have to stop running and face it. You can't live in the past forever._)

When she looked at them (both literally brimming with happiness) all she wanted to do was run inside and hide. But she was aware of her responsibilities and duties so she took a deep breath, wiped the almost-tears from her eyes, and walked towards the hospital.

Work kept her busy and her minds off things, as usual. This was why she loved it. This was also why Tsunade, when she was still working in Konoha, called her out on it:

"You need to stop working so hard," her mentor said the moment Sakura stepped into the older woman's office at the hospital.

"I'm not," she had tried to deny. Tsunade put down the scroll in front of her and when Sakura noticed her hazel eyes pierced daggers of "I know why you're doing this" and "this is not healthy" at her, she clenched her fists so hard her knuckles turned white. Tsunade, observant despite her drunkard reputation, noticed her tenseness almost immediately. "Maybe a little bit." Sakura added through gritted teeth.

"I have no problem with you working hard like this," Tsunade said, though her mind said _but you do mind, she's killing herself. _"But your selfishness is the driving force behind this… super Sakura."

"What are you saying?" Sakura asked, eyes studying her mentor's body language carefully. She had not moved an inch from the door, she liked to _pretend_ that the distance she put between her and the incredibly perceptive woman could deceive her. She knew it was futile, but sometimes she wished it had worked. _Since when did I start putting this kind of space between me and her? (Since you started running.) _

"I'm saying if you want to… dedicate," Tsunade sighed, "yourself to the hospital and to people who actually need your help, you need a different kind of driving force, Sakura. I know you're working so hard because you're running away from everything and everyone. And I know that working keeps your mind off of them. But there will come patients who will need you, _really_ need you – not… you, but a Sakura ready to give them all she's got."

"But I am—"

"You're not, Sakura," Tsunade sighed again. She stood up, walked around her desk and leaned against the other side of the desk – slowly closing the distance between her and Sakura and she saw how Sakura, perhaps unconsciously, stepped back. "You're spending more than fifteen hours in the hospital every day and you're only getting five hours of sleep every week, _if _you're lucky. People in that hospital need your full concentration and you're useless if you're too exhausted to function."

Tsunade knew the word _useless_ would strike a nerve in Sakura, but Sakura needed to stop running and start facing the problems.

"I'm not useless," Sakura snapped. "I'm saving lives in there, _shishou_. I saved more lives than anyone in that hospital could in _one day_. I'm the best you got and this is how you thank me?"

Sakura flinched at her own hostility towards the one person who helped her through everything and Tsunade could see the guilt reflected in her emerald orbs as she realized what she'd just said.

"You're losing your purpose, Sakura," she said. "The reason why you're working so hard is not because you _want_ to save lives. It's just an easy excuse for you to run, to not think of the problems the world outside of that confined sanctuary presents.

It may work out for you now, and you're right you are the best medic I've got – perhaps even the best medic anyone could ever have. But, and I will repeat myself, you're _useless_ if you're not there for the right reason. You will make a mistake one day when everything becomes too overwhelming and you're the one who will be facing the consequences, not me. Just remember this:

_In there, you're the one holding their lives together. They need you but what good are you to them if your mind is actually focused somewhere else?_"

Sakura looked at her mentor who, for the first time in a long time, looked at her with such tension in her eyes. She knew she messed up, and what Tsunade told her stung because they were all true. She sighed, unclenched her fists, and nodded.

"You're right," she said after a while. "You're right."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to transfer," Sakura answered, almost too quickly. "I told Kakashi-sensei about this and he said I can if I could go on the exchange medic program."

Tsunade looked at her, surprise was the first emotion registered in her brain but understanding seeped in not too long after. _Of course, this is her best option – for now. _

"I understand."

"Excuse me?" Sakura's eyes widened at the words of… approval?

"I said I understand," Tsunade looked at her. She turned to a stack of paperwork on her right and searched through the documents before pulling out a thin stapled one. "Here's the application form, of course I will approve you but this is formality. Suna is extremely eager for this exchange to happen so I'll need them back as soon as possible. Fill them out and return them to me by tomorrow."

"You're…" Sakura narrowed her eyes, hesitant. "You're okay with this…?"

"I'm not," Tsunade said as she flipped through the application. "But considering the situation it's probably best if you work as far as you can from… him."

Sakura felt a lump forming in her throat as she fought back the tears. (_She knows._)

"You knew," she managed to say, though her voice cracked at the last syllable.

"Of course I do," Tsunade said, looking up from the application. "I have eyes, Sakura. And I know how difficult it's been for you too. So I'm giving you an opportunity to, hopefully, start anew."

Sakura wiped away the tears before they fall and she nodded. She walked towards the older woman, and took the application.

"Th—" she choked as a sob escaped her. "Thank you, _shishou_."

Tsunade's eyes softened and she patted Sakura on the head reassuringly.

"You can't run forever, Sakura, I hope you know that," she said. "But I hope you can find your purpose again, and start healing people not as an excuse to run away from your problems but because you _genuinely_ want to help people."

Sakura nodded and she quickly wiped away the tears again the moment the formed.

"It's okay to cry," Tsunade said, now pulling her into an embrace. "It's okay to cry in front of people Sakura. There are actually those who cares for you and it's okay to let the wall down in front of them."

Sakura nodded as she let out more sobs and, finally, let her tears fall. She hugged the older woman and cried into her chest. Tsunade sighed and she rubbed Sakura's back to comfort her. She placed her hand on the back of Sakura's head and it glowed green.

"Hopefully this can comfort you," she said. "It's not much, but I do this from time to time as a sort of calming therapy."

Within seconds, Sakura felt lighter already and she relaxed in Tsunade's arms who smiled when she noticed this.

"You'll be okay, Sakura," she said. "You did a great job enduring it all."

* * *

><p>Sakura looked up from the form she was filling and turned to her patient.<p>

"Bring this prescription downstairs to the pharmacy, it's to the left of the elevator and they'll let you know the dose you'll need to take daily," she smiled at the elder sitting on the gurney.

"So I'm okay?" he asked, hesitant.

"You're okay," Sakura said. "Heat strokes are really common right now so just stay hydrated and cool. Drink a lot of water and make sure your house has enough ventilation so you don't suffocate from the heat. Also, don't forget your medicine, too."

"Ah yes," he averted his eyes, looking guilty. "I like to keep my windows shut all day because of the insects, you know."

"Get a bug net," Sakura laughed and he nodded as he laughed sheepishly. She waved at him when he left the office and the moment the door closed she let out a huge sigh.

Stretching, she let her mind wander once again and she wondered how Tsunade's doing. She was right, in fact, _everyone_ was right – even the little voice in her head. She should stop running away and start facing the problem.

(_It's going to hurt a lot more than this for a while, but at least after that you'll gradually feel better. It's just like having a wound, it'll fester if you leave it be but if you get it treated it will heal in time._)

But of course it was so much easier just thinking it than actually doing it. Because the next time she saw Naruto and Hinata on her way home she turned the other way as fast as she could and when she heard Naruto scream her name she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

And when she arrived home, she went back to how she was before she acknowledged that she needed to face the problem. She took off her shoes and clothes and laid in bed naked, the cool sheet felt good on her bare skin. She sighed, closed her eyes, and let the tears fall as sleep engulfed her.

(_One day you'll be okay._)

* * *

><p>The next morning, she decided to run. Again. But perhaps this time she could come back with an actual resolve to this problem – to accepting the fact that Naruto moved on from her (<em>even when you thought he would never. Even when you thought his love for you was infinite and would stay that way, even when you finally realized how much you love him and how you'd like <em>(love) _it if you could spend the rest of your life with him. But he's no longer yours and you need to find a way to move forward. Find a way to be okay with this and to be able to actually smile and feel happy for him)_.

She needed to see the people who helped her through the thick and thin, once upon and time, and there was only one place to go – _home_. She wasn't surprised when she walked into the Kazekage office to inform Gaara she wanted to take a break and go home, and found him smiling at her – as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his back, and she finally realized (really realized) how worried he had been for her. He nodded, stood up and gave her a hug and told her "you'll be okay, you're Haruno Sakura after all."

And honestly, those were the first few words she really needed to hear to feel okay. So she looked at him, smiled, and thanked him sincerely because it was thanks to him and Kankurou that her stay at Suna was incredibly comfortable. When she excused herself from his office, she bumped into Kankurou, and when she told him "I'm going home" he practically beamed. He gathered her into a bear hug and spun her in the air as he laughed and she shrieked, surprised by the action.

"Good for you, Sakura," he grinned. "Everyone's been missing you, I'm sure they'll be ecstatic!"

"To be honest with you, I can't wait to see their faces when I surprise them," Sakura laughed, actually excited to be going home – completely forgetting why she was going home in the first place. But she was excited, and home will always be _home_ – a place filled with people she truly loved.

Kankurou nodded, patted her in the head, and waved at her as they went their separate ways. It didn't surprise her when she suddenly found herself running to her apartment and packed all her travel necessities as fast as she could – she was _excited_, actually excited to be going home and she just couldn't wait. For the first time in a long time, Sakura felt adrenaline pumping through her veins in a positive way and she was glad.

When she ran out of her apartment and bumped into Naruto and Hinata, she was much too excited and she, for once, successfully ignored the gnawing unpleasant feeling eating her heart out. They looked shocked to see excitement clearly expressed in her brilliant green orbs. She was sweating and panting from running but she was smiling. Naruto was even more surprised than Hinata to see such a happy Sakura.

"Hello, Sakura," Hinata smiled, masking her curiosity as to what got Sakura looking so alive all of a sudden. Of course they had noticed her not being her usual self, they noticed her depression and they noticed how distant she had become. But Hinata, for one, knew the cause without anyone needing to confirm it. So she stayed quiet, because the last thing Naruto needed was a distraction at the fact that Sakura actually did love him. It was selfish, but she was finally happy. "Where are you headed to?"

Her answer made Naruto frown and he suddenly felt like she _was_ actually avoiding him; he thought it was only his imagination that she didn't seem to hear him when he called out to her or when he tried to talk to her and she rushed off somewhere else because she was "busy". Because she was Sakura and he was Naruto and they were never supposed to break. But they did, and he only noticed it now.

"Home," she smiled, beaming with actual radiant happiness. "I'm going home."

"You look happy," Naruto said, unknowingly he said this with a hint of venom in his voice. He didn't realize Hinata's hands grabbed his arm slightly tighter at that.

"I am," Sakura nodded. "Well then, if I am to make it before noon tomorrow, I should really leave now."

"Wait," Naruto stopped her when she walked by them and Hinata looked at him, confused and (slightly) worried. Sakura turned and looked at him. One look into his eyes, and she knew – because he was Naruto and she was Sakura and they were unstoppable and inseparable and she knew him like the back of her hand and (_he wants to talk to you. He noticed you've been avoiding him, of course he does – you didn't exactly make it subtle._) Sakura grabbed the straps to her backpack slightly tighter as her throat closed up. (_And you were so excited too; at the thought of going home that you had actually ignored this miserable dread. You should've continued running when you bumped into them._)

So she sucked it all in, all the tears and the dread and the emotions about to run wild. And she grinned at him.

"I'll see you later, Naruto," she said. "That's a promise."

And that _was_ a promise. She will see him again because there was unfinished business between the two of them. _Because this was Naruto and she was Sakura, and whatever was left of their bond needed to be addressed and discussed for her to know how to move forward from there_. But going home, seeing the people she loved, and getting their counsel would be the first few steps she needed to take to be able to get her resolution.

Because she knew they'd help her any way they could and the thought alone relieved her. She was not alone. And she will get through this.

Naruto looked like he was about to cry, because even though it was not a promise of a lifetime, it was a promise. And promises had become something special between the two of them over the years. Even though things have changed, and will continue changing – either for the better or worse; Naruto looked forward to the next time they see each other.

So he grinned at her, nodded, and gave her a thumbs up.

"I'll see you later," he said, and without realizing it he'd added "Sakura-chan!" But he didn't regret it even when he felt Hinata pulled on his sleeve and he felt her trembling hands. _Because this was Sakura, and he was Naruto, and whatever was left of their bond needed to be salvaged_. So he smiled at her when he saw her eyes lit up ever so slightly at the mention of her once used nickname.

Sakura nodded, gave him a thumbs up, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

(_This is the first step._)

* * *

><p><strong>an**

**and the chapter is over phew! it took me so, SO long to write this chapter. i had a different thing written down before but i got rid of that cause it was pretty dumb, and i think this came out better than what i had before so i hope you guys like it. **

**also, i italicized a certain "parallel" shall we say, in the last few paragraphs to make you guys notice it but if you didn't and you read this i hope you then see the parallel lol. **

**+ i heard about the stupid interview kishi had about how he basically baited narusakus with all the narusaku moments just to keep them reading and honestly this guy is the worst. i'm so upset. **

**anyway, reviews are appreciated,**

**DD.**


	4. Chapter 4

/ **chapter three**

Sakura sat by the window, one hand under her chin and the other absentmindedly tracing circles on the fogged up glass. It was raining outside, a summer's rain, and the difference in temperature caused her window to become the perfect canvas for a sad day. She sighed, and looked at the surface of the window, at the vapor turning to water – disappearing at her touch. Her index finger drew out a simple doodle: two dots and an upward curve. She smiled to herself when trails of water crossed paths with her "drawing", one of them intersecting the dot on the left.

"Why are you crying?" she whispered, wiping away the water trailing towards the bottom edge of the window. "We've decided, haven't we? This isn't the time to cry."

She realized a few days ago that the voice in her head was no longer there. The voice disappeared when she finalized her decision: _the_ solution; the best solution and the resolution (supposedly). It was for the best, she knew. But was it okay to let it be? She's questioned this for many nights. After a while, there was just no answer.

But she'd decided. And supposedly it was for the best.

Sakura sighed, wiped away her own tear rolling down her left cheek, and smiled as she drew more doodles on the window. The sound of the rain, _pitter-patter_ing rhythmically was exactly what she needed at the moment – especially when she was starting to doubt her decision.

* * *

><p>She had arrived in Konoha a week ago. And the first person she went to see was the Hokage. Kakashi had been so surprised she thought she'd finally see his face as his mask slowly but surely slipped from his gape. But he recovered in a few seconds, fixed his mask, and gave her a big hug that lasted a long time. She swore she felt him cry into her shoulders, but when he straightened up there was no trace of the possible tears. Sakura, on the other hand, had been crying from the moment she saw him.<p>

It was the kind of reunion she'd expected. He asked about her stay at Suna, how was she adapting, did she meet anyone new (other than the Kazekage and his family), did she learn anything new, etc. She told him all she could and asked him the same things he asked her. She noticed then that he looked much older, perhaps the burden and stress from being Hokage had finally gotten to him and she _almost _regretted leaving.

"Are you ever coming home?" he asked after a few hours of catching up. He couldn't cancel any meetings (for now was crucial for not only Konoha, but also the _shinobi_ world and the Kages of every nation had their schedule for the next three years booked with various political meetings, domestic arrangements, etc.) but he made sure he had enough time to spend with Sakura for the day.

Sakura looked at him, and it broke her heart to see how hopeful he looked. She grabbed his hand, squeezed it lightly and she saw a shadow passed by his face and she knew he knew what her answer was. So she didn't answer him, and instead gave him a sad smile. He nodded, patted her hand, and sighed.

"Maybe one day," he said.

"Maybe one day," she agreed. (_I want to go home._) _Me too. But not yet._

Before they could say anything else, a knock was heard on the door, and Kakashi sighed. She looked at him sympathetically and quickly reached up to him as he was standing up. He looked at her, confused by the sudden gesture, and felt her hands on either side of his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked, slightly cautious.

"Helping you out," she smiled softly. "Tsunade-_sama_ helped me like this a long while ago."

Her hands glowed green and she focused her soothing chakra to carefully massage his temples. The effect took action fast as Kakashi slowly relaxed into her hands, eyes closing blissfully. They stayed that way for a few seconds before she pulled back and smiled at him.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yes," he smiled back at her. "Thank you, I needed that."

"I know," she patted his arm. The knocks on the door continued and she quickly gave him a hug before giving him a peck on the cheek. "Good luck, Hokage-_sama_, do a good work."

"I always do a good work," he rolled his eyes before smiling fondly at her. "Thank you Sakura. Drop by again if you're still here tomorrow."

She nodded before she turned to the door and opened it as the knocks grew more impatient.

Only to be greeted by none other than Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

><p>Sakura opened her eyes and looked out at the rain calmly <em>pitter-patter<em>ing on the plants she hung outside her window. With one quick hand swipe, she wiped away the fog covering the glass surface on her end.

After she bumped into him at the Hokage's office, they had awkwardly stared at each other for a few seconds before Kakashi cleared his throat in hope that the heavy and uncomfortable atmosphere could be lifted. At the sound of this, Sasuke looked away and straight at Kakashi who felt the sudden need to punch himself because it was _really_ awkward for them to stare at one another with no context or reason. Sakura had gulped. Audibly, that she was sure even Kakashi could hear it. She then cleared her throat and chirped a silent "Hello, Sasuke." In which he replied with his usual trademark "Hn."

She couldn't remember what happened next but she was sure it was one of the most embarrassing and awkward moments of her life. Overtime she had forgiven Sasuke for what he did to her during the war, and it was then that she realized Sasuke was really just a stranger in her life. Sure, she claimed she loved him (so many times over to so many people, even the man himself that it became such an embarrassing thing for her to recall) but in reality, she knew nothing about him. And this fact just made her become increasingly uncomfortable at the thought of what she repeatedly announced to the world.

It was then that she found another reason why she was glad to be away from Konoha. She managed to avoid Sasuke for so long, but unfortunately for her he just had to be the second person she saw the moment she stepped into Konoha.

* * *

><p>Standing up from her seat, she walked towards her dark living room and just stood there; her eyes travelled from the TV to the coffee table, to the shelf on the wall and the CD rack on the left of the TV, and finally landed on the beige sofa.<p>

She pictured Naruto sleeping on her couch, the routine they had before the war happened, the routine that stopped after the war. He had always been too tired to travel back to his own empty apartment and had always asked to stay over. Though she always told him no in front of other people, he'd knock later in the evening and she'd let him in with a smile.

She never told him but she knew he knew that his presence comforted her as well. Her apartment was as empty and lonely as his and he knew she appreciated the company. He was healthiest when he came over because she cooked for him. People said she would make a terrible housewife for she's terrible at cooking and cleaning but Naruto knew it was the opposite. She was a great cook and she tried to keep her place as clean as possible, it was only due to her busy schedule that many things were left unattended.

Sakura smiled and turned on the light, only to be greeted by an empty sofa. There was a small part in her that hoped that when she turned on that light, she'd see Naruto lying comfortably on her couch; with one hand under his head and the other on the remote as he flipped through the channels.

But the sofa was empty, and so was the room. The TV was off and there were no snacks on the coffee table, there was only the sound of the rain _pitter-patter_ing outside echoing throughout her apartment.

Sakura wiped away the tears, turned off the light, and walked into her dark bedroom.

* * *

><p>She had gone to see Ino a few days back, a day after her arrival in Konoha and Ino literally dropped the vase she was holding and had looked at Sakura as if she had been dead for the past few months. She ignored the broken pieces on the floor and had even stepped on the Hydrangea before shakily pulling Sakura into a tight embrace. When Ino started bawling, Sakura soon followed and the two sobbed into each other's shoulders, ignoring the customers around them. Ino's mother had to usher the two girls to the back to stop them from scaring the customers away.<p>

"Welcome back, Sakura," she'd said with a warm and relieved smile before disappearing behind the curtains to attend to the customers.

"Welcome back, Forehead," Ino hiccupped a few moments after.

Sakura laughed and buried her face deeper into Ino's shoulder.

"I'm home, Pig,"

They chatted for the rest of the day and Sakura slept over. Ino apologized over and over for not visiting and told her she had been so busy with various missions as well as attending to the flower shop now that her father's passed away. Their chat continued to the night and by midnight Ino finally brought up Naruto's name.

"So you heard about Naruto?"

Ino felt Sakura shift next to her and she turned towards the pink haired girl only to find her staring straight at the ceiling, her expression unreadable.

"I did."

"I'm sorry, Sakura,"

"I still can't face him," Sakura sighed. She turned so that she was facing Ino. "I don't know what to do."

(_But you know what to do. You just refuse to accept it. It will hurt, but you will be okay after. All you have to do is…_)

"We both know you only have two choices on the table," Ino said. "Either you tell him how you feel, or you let it be and watch the two of them get married."

Ino felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed her in the heart when she saw Sakura's tears. Her face was still, but the tears were unstoppable. She reached out and wiped away the tears.

"Do you do this all the time?" she asked, to which Sakura frowned. "Do you cry alone?"

"Yeah," Sakura said in a whisper. "Naruto came to Suna, and I think I haven't stopped crying ever since I heard about the news from Kakashi-_sensei_."

"What did you do with the letter?" Ino asked.

"I burned it," Sakura admitted. She saw Ino's eyes widen ever so slightly and she sighed. "Do you think what I did was wrong? I knew I was always… violent and vocal with my emotions, I suppose. But I wonder if I'm actually someone with pent up emotions in me. I could feel myself suffocating in God knows what and I don't know what to do."

"You're not violent, Sakura," Ino looked at her sympathetically. "People talk nonsense and you shouldn't let gossips and rumors define who you really are."

"You know ever since I arrived I would accidentally hear people whispering about me?" Sakura laughed bitterly. "I've heard many of them say how fitting it is that the beautiful and kind Hyuuga heiress is finally going to marry the man who saved the world. And sometimes I'd hear someone say "But isn't it weird, I thought Naruto's interested in Sakura-san." And then someone else would say "But how could it be? She's always beating him up and she's always incredibly rude to him, you'd be crazy to want to stay with someone like that." Hilariously, sometimes someone would chirp in: "Watch it, she saved all of us. Your father would probably be dead if it wasn't for her. Show the girl some respect."

But above it all, many people agree that Hinata suits him more. And I've heard people say "Sakura's in love with Sasuke, she's always been in love with him and she will always love him." And it's kind of painful and embarrassing to hear people say that about me because I honestly don't know anything about Sasuke. He's technically a stranger to me but because of my own foolishness I'm now stuck with this assumption that _Haruno Sakura will only and always love Uchiha Sasuke unconditionally_."

Sakura hadn't realized that her voice had only gotten louder the more she talked and that she'd been shaking from the tears and frustration and all the emotions she felt at once until Ino wrapped her arms around her. (_I'm sorry._)

"I'm really sorry, Forehead," Sakura could feel Ino's tears on her shoulder and she could only cry into her embrace. "I'm sorry that this is the circumstances and I'm sorry that you don't have more options."

"What should I do, Ino?"

It was silent for a long time before Ino let her go, sat up and looked at her straight in the eye. Her cerulean shades glimmered with tears and she said the words she knew would destroy her best friend. But it was necessary and she hoped (_prayed_) that this was the answer.

"You have to let him go."

Sakura looked at Ino, shock was the first thing that clicked into her mind but then understanding quickly seeped in. This was what the voice in her head had been telling her since a long time ago.

(_I'm sorry that you have no other choice. But you know he's happy now and you don't have the right to take that happiness away. I know you want to be selfish and try to get him back but if you tell him how you feel you won't only hurt him, you'll also hurt Hinata. Many people will be hurt and the damage will take a long time to fix._

_If you let him go, you will hurt. For a while you will hurt. But you can move on. You, alone, can deal with it with the help of people around you and you can move on. Hinata's loved Naruto for a long, long time and he deserves to be happy. You rejected him for far too long and if you really love him, you'll let him go._)

"I have to let him go." She repeated after a while. Ino sobbed silently at the broken look on her best friend's face. It was a look of understanding but at the same time the anguish portrayed in her eyes was incredibly heartbreaking to see.

Ino was about to tell Sakura how sorry she was before she realized that _sorry_ won't do anything. So she gave Sakura another hug and whispered "You'll be okay, Sakura. You're Haruno Sakura, after all."

Sakura smiled and hugged Ino back. Three times. This was the third time she heard someone other than the voice in her head tell her that she'll be okay. And not just because time will heal, but because she's Haruno Sakura.

Even though it's going to be painful and her days will probably be filled with tears and helpless flashbacks of when things were perfect and it was just _Naruto_ and _Sakura_ against the world, with the common goal of bringing Sasuke back – she knew she will probably be okay. Because she was Haruno Sakura and there were people who had faith in her.

And perhaps that was just the thing she needed: for people to believe in her.

"You know, Pig, I have another person I need to talk to,"

"Who? Tsunade-_sama_?" Ino pulled back and looked at Sakura, confused.

"No," she smiled. "Sasuke."

(_Take another step. You'll be okay. _Because you're Haruno frikken' Sakura_._)

And that was the last time she heard the voice in her head, because deep inside she already made up her mind. She knew what to do. Even though she still hesitated every now and then and even though it hurt her just thinking about it, but she knew what to do the next time she saw the blond knucklehead.

* * *

><p>Sakura climbed into her cold bed and covered her body quickly with the blanket to escape the cold. She sighed contently into the warmth of her sheets and smiled as she closed her eyes.<p>

Tomorrow, she'd decided.

Tomorrow she was going to see Uchiha Sasuke. Because they were the original Team 7 and it was time for the broken pieces to be mended.

Plus, if anyone, Sasuke was one of two people who understood and knew Naruto better than her.

* * *

><p><strong>an**

**the other person is obviously iruka. never forget iruka, dammit.**

**this was a long chapter written with tears from my end. I always, always adore the friendship between sakura and ino and i swear to god whoever said hinata's sakura's best friend is an idiot who didn't pay attention to the manga.**

**also i really like the thought of sakura and sasuke being good friends the more she understands him cause… i just can't see sasuke actually loving anyone romantically? like, i feel like that's just not in his system LOL. and i did, yes, include the whole people believing in sakura cause i know she's always had this like… self-esteem problem with herself? so I decided to add that in cause i wanna show her mental development, shall we say? **

**i'm actually excited to be writing the chapter between her and sasuke cause wow it's about time she understands him and vice versa yea?**

**some parts may be confusing but tbh i get really tired from trying to proofread it. after a few re-reads my brain just stopped comprehending english LOL. sucks that english isn't my first language, ey?**

**anyway, reviews are appreciated.**

**DD.**


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